Jim Harbaugh Hangs Up His Cleats

 From Patagonia with Love - photo by JoAnn Sturman

Scott Sturman
fliesinyoureyes.com

In the NFL head coaches make a difference.  Look at Jim Harbaugh.  In his first year as San Francisco 49er head coach and with basically the same players, he led his team, a 6-10 team in 2010, to an impressive 14-4 record and a trip to the NFC finals.

It is difficult enough to manage a profitable hospital nowadays, but some managers are better at shooting themselves in the foot than others.  Despite struggling to keep their institutions solvent, too many hospital administrators use a version of the old Raiders’ game plan when they dominated the NFL and threw “deep for six” every other play.  Both the football team and hospitals have considerable talent at their disposal, but both suffer from too many head coaches, squandered draft choices, and meddling owners.  Like their NFL counterparts who are slow to apprehend the game has changed, corporate gurus draft for speed and swagger but ignore charisma, resourcefulness, and character.  One point is clear:  If doctors don’t like the game plan, then they shouldn’t let the door hit them in the ass on the way out.

It is tempting to write a thesis using the Raider style as an example of how not to run a hospital, but here’s a start:

Implement policies by executive decree from corporate headquarters located thousands of miles away or by the local board of trustees, who may be successful businessmen but whose talents do not necessarily extend into the realm of medicine.  It is crucial to disregard the strengths of the organization and exaggerate temporary problems common to the business cycle.

Select CEOs with an poor interpersonal skills, who specialize in short term results.  Management should avoid personal contact with the medical staff; it is better to ensconce oneself in an office and communicate by email.

Make the work environment so unpleasant that even the most loyal nurses and technicians quit and take jobs with competing, better run hospitals.  Employees and staff who voice objections to management decisions should be marginalize.  Surround administrators with back slapping confidants who unfailingly reassure them of their infallibility.

Remember the aphorism: There is no problem that cannot be solved with more paperwork.

Repeat the same mistakes until the hospital is in financial peril and the laughing stock of the community.

Come on, Mr. Harbaugh, it’s obvious you have a bright future as an NFL coach.  Super Bowls are over rated!  Undertake a real challenge and straightened out a hospital which is playing like the Manning-less Indianapolis Colts.  Emphasize the fundamentals, show doctors and nurses you’ll go to the barricades with them, provide a financial plan that sustains the health of the institution, and entice Magic Johnson and the Dodger consortium to buy out the current owners.  Your new salary may not approach NFL standards, but we need you more than those wine drinking, brie eating 49er fans.