Interview with Muammar "Camel Master" Qaddafi

Grand Canyon - photo by JoAnn Sturman

Scott Sturman
fliesinyoureyes.com

As Libyan rebel forces assaulted Tripoli, we reached Colonel Qaddafi hiding in a cave on the Libyan-Algerian border deep in the Sahara.

Flies In Your Eyes begins a series of interviews with nationally known politicians and international leaders. Since the site is relatively unknown, the interviewees have an opportunity for the first time in their lives to express their true, non scripted opinions without having to pay the price for their candor.

FIYE: Thank you for joining us, Colonel. As you know, this site offers a unique venue where you can express your views without sanction from the national press. First of all, due to the informality of the interview, it has been our experience that the interviewee is more comfortable and forthcoming if titles are ignored, and we address you by the name commonly used within the intimate family circle. What name would you prefer?

Qaddafi: Camel Master. I am a creature of the desert and for over forty years I have tended to my people’s needs. They are my children and being children of the Sahara, I like to think of them as my herd.

FIYE: You have ruled more by the tank and machine gun than from the saddle of a camel.

CM: Children can be unruly and need a stern hand from their master.

FIYE: Your regime actively supported state sponsored terrorism throughout the 70s and early 80s. But you became a virtual choir boy after your altercation with Ronald Reagan.

CM: Try making love in your tent to a virgin when F-111s drop bombs on you in the middle of the night. It’s hard to convince your lover that you’re the Lion of the Sahara, when the Crusaders cross the “line of death” and blow your family to smithereens.

Carter and all those post industrial Europeans thought they could reason with me. I just told them what they wanted to hear and continued the jihad. Reagan was different. He could kill me and my family anytime he wanted, and I knew he would do it.

FIYE: Would this tactic be effective against other dictators who resort to indiscriminate violence?

CM: Of course. All of them stay in control by using power ruthlessly. Power is all they understand. Look at Assad in Syria. He political base is the Alawites, a small minority of the Syrian population. As long as the army is loyal, he’ll stay in power. He’ll use whatever means are necessary to quell the uprising. Killing his people is nothing. If he is overthrown, he and his family lose everything.

Embargoes, diplomatic criticism, and freezing assets is a joke to any dictator. These tactics only hurt the masses. We just tell them America and the Jews are responsible for their suffering. Any strongman worth his salt makes sure his generals and military live well by diverting resources to them.

Send Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton to counsel them, and they’ll give them lip service but laugh at their naivety at soon as they leave the room. Cruise missiles and special operations are a different story. If you think you can die any time, it gets your attention.

FIYE: Why are you afraid to die if you are a religious man?

CM: I’m religious when I need to be. It’s a big deal the peasants think their leader believes as they do. I’m more like the Crusaders who go to church once a year on Christmas Eve. I can talk the talk, but you’d never see me strapping a bomb around my waist. I’m no different than your politicians who like to have their pictures taken at church, but sleep with their best friend’s wife that night.

FIYE: Your thought processes often seem erratic and incoherent. Do you use drugs?

CM: No, but I have been in absolute power for so long that it is inconceivable for me to believe that my people do not adore me. When they revolted, I naturally assumed they had to be on drugs to defy my wishes. It’s probably the same with the politicians in your country.

FIYE: What about those pictures of Conde Rice found in your compound?

CM: Did you expect me to have photo albums of Hillary Clinton or Madeleine Albright? CNN wouldn’t have made a big deal about it, if I collected pictures of them. Conde has the whole package: charm, musical talent, intelligence, competence, and beauty. I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.

FIYE: The war is not over, but the situation doesn’t look good for you. You stated earlier this week that you withdrew from Tripoli to give the rebels a false sense of security. Now you’re holed up in this dusty cave surrounded by young boys. Do you think you’ll ever see your tent again?

CM: These boys are my special assistants. From my love life to my political life, I’ve always kept my options open. As far as my future goes, Allah will not forsake me. My favorite movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger said it best, “I’ll be back!”