Hair Brained

Karl Marx Would Be Pleased

 

Scott Sturman

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.  —  Mark Twain

I’m a different man, as anyone can readily see from the accompanying portraits.  The hair is no longer worn in the closely cropped para military style, but rather, the locks are long, flowing, and a bit unkempt to conform to my new progressive beliefs: wealth redistribution, position exclusive of merit, and one world government to name a few.  The striking metamorphosis not only includes a liberal physiognomy but ideas to match.  Gone is the healthy skepticism for all politicians, and the all too frequent cynical comments about their motivations.  Nor is the mind cluttered by heartless thoughts about the inadvisability of paying people not to work and rewarding bad behavior.

The inspiration for this epiphany came in the form of a voice message from the President himself, as he pitched the advantages of signing up for Obama Care before the March 31 deadline.  In his rich but measured baritone, he convinced me of the selfishness of preferring one’s own doctor and bristling about paying more for poorer health care.  Now I just have to decide whether to sign up for the Tin or Lead Health Insurance Plans, since I started smoking and eating more fast food to shorten my retirement years.

To be honest, lately I have been warming to the President.  Much to his credit, he has revived the foreign policy doctrines of Jimmy Carter and Neville Chamberlain, where appeasement is the favored tactic to keep dictators at bay.  He understands, whether one is dealing with Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Khomeini, or Putin, that letting them have their way is the best strategy, particularly if they promise their transgressions will not happen again.  As I recall, Mr. Chamberlain taught the Fuhrer a thing or two at Munich, as he waved a signed document proving there would be peace in our time.

Life is all about being fair, and as the President rightly observes, what reasonable person would object giving control of the Internet a more international flavor?  With America’s long history of human rights abuses, it’s time to pass the baton to Russia and China but also Zimbabwe, Venezuela, and Somalia.

Life is much easier being a progressive.  One does not have to say no to anyone or anything unless it doesn't agree with you, of course.  And the ego is constantly being validated and reenforced by the media and the entertainment industry.  When advocating equality of outcome or the immorality of carbon based fuels, it’s comforting to know every high school educated movie star will come to my defense.  Who knows, maybe the new me with get an interview on The View or CNN.  It’s amazing what a new hair style will do. 

 Leaning LEFT at Torre del Paine