Politicians, Attorneys, and Rollerblading

Death Valley - photo by JoAnn Sturman

Scott Sturman
fliesinyoureyes.com

Licensed attorneys comprise about .027% of the population of the United States or 1 attorney per 360 people. 45% of Congress are lawyers.

I’ve rollerbladed for over 20 years. I skate about 10 MPH for an hour in residential areas where the pavement is smooth and traffic light. In California a rollerblader obeys the same laws as a pedestrian: if there are no sidewalks, stay on the left side side of the road close to the curb facing traffic. Being able to avoid on coming traffic is essential; in a collision with a vehicle the rollerblader always loses. Experience has taught whether intentional or not, these drivers are out to kill me.

Over the years I’ve had quite a few near misses with automobiles, and in most incidents when picking myself off of the ground the driver recognizes the seriousness of a mishap, offers an apology, and asks if I am okay. There have been two exceptions to the rule: one involved a local politician and the other an attorney.

The first case occurred in mid afternoon on a typical sunny day while I was skating against traffic near my home. In the distance I saw a slow moving car heading toward me with the right wheels nearly in the gutter. As we converged, I noticed the driver was talking on a cell phone with his eyes looking at his lap. I slowed, hoping the driver would bear left into the normal traffic lane. He didn’t, so I leapt the curb, rolled on the grass, got up, turned, and chased him.

Once I caught the car, I recognized the driver as a former local politician. A verbal altercation ensued, but what irked me was he instantly blamed me for my tumble. Although he was driving with eyes down cast and next to the curb while using a cell phone, it was my fault for being in his way. He did not know the rules of the road, but that did not stop him from pretending to know them. We were not able to resolve the disagreement until I addressed him by his name. Stripped of his anonymity, he finally conceded his error. We shook hands, but as I skated away the incident reconfirmed my view of the liberties politicians take with the truth.

Several years later I was skating facing traffic in a residential neighborhood under ideal conditions, when I noticed a delivery truck on the right side of the road backed into a driveway with the front end of the vehicle protruding a few feet into the roadway. A car approached in the right lane from my rear, passed me and drifted leftward to avoid the truck. At that instant a luxury class sedan speeding at least 50 MPH approached the truck from the other direction. Rather than slow down to avoid the oncoming car, the driver pulled sharply to his right and headed directly toward me. As the distance between us closed rapidly, I prepared for evasive maneuvers. He did not make the adjustment, so I jumped the curb while yelling “Asshole!” at the top of my lungs as the car roared past me.

I don’t know how he heard me, but the driver slammed on the brakes and backed the car toward me. I skated up to the automobile and noticed personalized license plates with some witty saying about the law. When getting out of the car, it was apparent the lawyer was not concerned he nearly killed me but why I called him an asshole. The same litany followed. It was my fault. I was “unlawfully” skating against traffic in the shadows. He was blameless as a saint. We might as well have been in court with him presenting a brain dead jury an exaggerated, disingenuous summary of events, so his guilty client could walk. Needless to say we did not arrive at any accommodation; all I could do was skate away and shake my head.

It’s got to be a coincidence; these two isolated rollerblading mishaps occurring over a twenty year span cannot be statistically significant or any conclusions drawn which can be supported by rigorous academic methods....but still I wonder.